Post-traumatic stress disorder, or PTSD, is a mental health condition that affects many people.
Unlike other issues that arise because of genetics or heredity, PTSD occurs because of traumatic life experiences. They cause your loved one to be always on guard against danger or have terrible flashbacks that can be terrifying.
Those who struggle with PTSD may also have difficulties with substance abuse as well.
It’s hard watching your loved one struggle with PTSD, and you want to help. Here are four tips for how you can help your loved one with PTSD.
1. Understand What PTSD Is
First, it’s important to do your homework and learn what you can about PTSD.
PTSD occurs when someone lives through traumatic experiences. These could be moments of extreme violence, such as an accident, military combat, criminal activity, or a natural disaster.
However, PTSD can also occur from psychological or emotional trauma as well. For instance, growing up with a parent who was always critical or was emotionally abusive.
These experiences live under the surface for your loved one. They haven’t gone away, even if it’s been a long time since those events happened. All that is needed is a reminder in the form of a triggering event to bring those events back. For your loved one, this means a life spent in anguish, pain, guilt, and anxiety.
2. Stay Involved
One trait associated with people who have PTSD is withdrawal from others. They retreat from social activities or interactions with those who care about them. Be aware of this and make sure that you stay involved in their life. For example:
Attending sporting events, movies, etc.
Planning a game night together
Cooking meals
Playing music
Doing physical activities, such as exercising
Staying involved in their life helps your loved one to feel valued. Often survivors of trauma will struggle to find any meaning in their life. They question why they survived when someone else did not. What they need to know is that they are valued and loved.
3. Listen Objectively
When you talk to someone about their PTSD, they may lash out. They may say things that are hard to hear. Some could even be personally hurtful. Know your boundaries about what is and is not acceptable behavior. However, try to listen as objectively as possible.
One struggle of those with PTSD is that other people don’t understand what they have experienced. This contributes to their isolation and further drives them towards depression. You can help and make a profound difference just by being present and listening.
Acknowledge what happened and be supportive. If your loved one is reluctant to talk, try to encourage them to do so. But be aware of pushing too much.
4. Encourage PTSD Treatment
Finally, you can help your loved one by encouraging them to seek treatment for their PTSD. People often avoid therapy because they fear it will stigmatize them. You can support your loved one by normalizing therapy.
Help them understand it is okay for them to get help. Therapy doesn’t mean that they are weak. Instead, it brings out that inner strength that they already have. Also, let them know that a therapist won’t judge them. Rather, they want to help your loved one to resolve their trauma so that they no longer have to struggle as much with PTSD.
People with PTSD need what’s referred to as natural support systems. These are the things that already exist in their lives that keep them grounded to help cope with PTSD. Family, friends, and loved ones fall into this category.
Remember, if you are concerned that your loved one is a risk to themselves and needs immediate help, call 911. However, for long-term treatment, contact us at 256-686-9195, to find out how trauma counseling works.
The kids are driving you nut, and you have reached your breaking point. And that’s not hyperbole. It’s the truth. Parents have so many demands placed upon them. At times, it feels that they are more than you can handle.
Of course, you love your kids, want to provide for them, and ensure that they have a healthy upbringing. But the day-to-day stress of parenting is causing you to experience parental burnout.
Yet what does that mean? Here are some signs that you might be experiencing parental burnout, and what to do about it.
You’re Tired All the Time
One sign that you’re burned out is that you feel tired all the time. We’re not just talking about feeling exhausted after one night of taking care of the kids. It’s a constant state of being where you are just flat-out exhausted. You have no energy left to do anything.
When you need to rally, you do your best to tap into a reserve of energy. Yet now even that’s gone. “Sucking it up” won’t help. What you need is sleep and rest. Sleep is critically important for both the body and mind. Without it, you just don’t function.
When You Get Stressed You Snap Back
Another sign that you’re struggling is that you are snappy all the time. This means that when something stressful is occurring, even a minor issue, you snap back at the other person in anger. For instance, your child refuses to put on their shirt. Instead of patiently working with them to get dressed, you angrily say “Put on your shirt now!”
This phenomenon doesn’t even have to occur when someone is being defiant. For example, your partner might say something, and, in response, you angrily quip back. Keep in mind you’re not actually angry at your child or your partner. It’s just that your mind is so stressed that any perceived problem or issue gets an over-the-top response.
Overwhelm is Your Mainstay
You might be angry and frustrated all the time because, deep down, you are overwhelmed. New problems keep arising when you least expect them. For instance:
The coach called reminding you the sports fee is overdue.
You just found out your child has a project that requires special materials.
Your partner forgot to schedule that appointment and doesn’t have the time, so the task falls on you.
These issues seem little, but the cumulative effect is that they overwhelm your ability to cope with stress, which is even more overwhelming!
There’s Never Time for Yourself
Because there are so many demands on your time and attention, it feels as if there is never any time for yourself. Even for an hour! That’s a problem. Taking time for yourself is not an indulgence. Rather, it’s necessary maintenance time that you need to ensure you are taken care of. For example:
Bathing, grooming, etc.
Exercising.
Reading or listening to music.
Relaxing with some peace and quiet.
These moments help you take care of your body and allow your mind to rest. But if you are constantly being drawn away to take care of others, then there is precious little time to do the things you need to function.
What to Do About Parental Burnout
If you suspect you are struggling with parental burnout, ask for help. Talk today to a therapist who understands stress and anxiety. Keep in mind that asking for help doesn’t mean that you are a failure as a parent. Far from it!
Counseling will help you find more manageable ways to deal with your responsibilities. And, perhaps even reduce them! Plus, you will have a place to direct your anger, frustration, and resentment in a healthy way that doesn’t damage your relationships with those whom you love.
Parenting is never easy. Even with the most perfect children, parents can occasionally feel stressed. But for some, parental burnout is a very real concern. Don’t hesitate to ask for help. Reach out today to learn more about stress counseling and how it works, 256-686-9195.
Anxiety can impact almost anyone, including young children. It’s also not uncommon for teenagers to deal with it.
In fact, due to the effects of the COVID-19 pandemic, some studies have started to show that kids and teens are more susceptible to feelings of anxiety from uncertain situations.
As parents, that can be a difficult pill to swallow. No one wants to think about their child (at any age) struggling with anxiety.
The best thing you can do is to understand the signs and symptoms at different ages. Doing so will allow you to understand that they’re struggling sooner, so you can work toward getting them the help and support they need.
With that in mind, let’s look at the differences between signs of anxiety in children and teens.
Understanding Anxiety in Children
Unfortunately, many of the common signs of anxiety in children might first appear to be behavioral issues. Your child might get angry quickly or seem irritable more often. They might exhibit disruptive behavior or have frequent outbursts.
Their behaviors can also change, from not wanting to go to school in the morning to not responding when called on by the teacher.
It’s important to understand that, for a young child, anxiety can be even tougher than it is for adults. They might struggle with irrational fears, but they don’t know why.
You might see your child constantly fidgeting, worrying, and talking to you about the things they’re scared about. Those issues can make it difficult for them to concentrate, and can really start to take over their lives.
One way to treat anxiety in people of all ages is to find out the underlying cause(s). That’s especially important for children. Once you know what’s triggering their anxiety, you can help them work through it. A therapist or counselor is often the best solution for uncovering those triggers and helping your child to develop symptom management skills.
Treating Anxiety in Teens
Some of the common signs of anxiety in teenagers are similar to those in adults, including:
Sweating
Trembling
Rapid heartbeat
Dizziness
Stomach Issues
Breathing problems
But there are also some “hidden” signs of anxiety that your teen may not regularly exhibit—at least, not in front of you.
Teenagers, in general, have to deal with a variety of emotions and changes as they age. So, you might think some signs of anxiety are normal. Others, they might try to keep to themselves because they aren’t sure how to handle what they’re feeling.
That’s why it’s so important to pay attention and talk to your teen as often as possible. Some of the hidden signs of anxiety your teenager might exhibit include emotional changes. They might seem restless or irritable more often than not. For some, that could just be “normal” teenage behavior. But, if that doesn’t seem like your teen’s typical personality, they could be struggling with anxiety.
Social changes are one of the easiest signs to spot. Teenagers typically spend a lot of time with their friends. If your teen suddenly doesn’t want to be around their friends or stops doing things with them, it could be a sign of something more serious.
Sleep disturbances and problems in school are also common signs of anxiety for teenagers. It’s not always easy to spot these signs if your teen is trying to “hide” them. But noticing a few can trigger you to have a conversation with them.
What Should You Do?
If you’re worried that your child or teenager might be struggling with anxiety, the best thing to do is to find them some help. Most of the time, anxiety doesn’t go away on its own. They need to feel supported throughout the treatment process and learn how to handle their symptoms on a daily basis.
Feel free to contact us for more information, or to set up an appointment for your child or teenager., 256-686-9195.
Many of us are working from home, using delivery services to get groceries and streaming movies versus going to the theater. This, of course, is all because of the need to socially-distance to reduce the rate of transmission of the Coronavirus.
Part of this shift to a “new normal” has been the rise of online therapy.
Virtual therapy and telehealth already existed before the pandemic. However, now many more therapists and counselors who originally saw patients in an office setting are going online.
It’s certainly more convenient than going to the office. But will your insurance company cover the cost?
Getting that answer might require some work. Here’s how you can find out.
Start Where You Are…
If you already have been seeing a therapist for counseling, consider what coverage your plan already provides for therapy. It might be that counseling is 100% covered by your plan if you see a therapist who is in their provider network. Or they may cover at least a certain percentage of the cost.
Review with your therapist what your billing arrangement is and whether or not that will change with the shift to online therapy. If your therapist doesn’t already know they may be able to ask their billing specialist/contractor.
…Even When You Are Beginning Your Journey
It’s no wonder that during these times many people are beginning to see a therapist for the first time. If that’s the case for you, then you will want to know if your insurance coverage includes online therapy.
Here are some things to keep in mind:
Review your plan to determine if coverage applies, and how much. Remember that plans vary not just by company, but by region and state.
When in doubt, ask! Call their customer service line, send an email, or engage in an online chat.
Research therapists in your area and who also are in your provider network. They may say on their website which insurance companies provide coverage. If not, send a message or call to ask.
What If You Have Medicaid or Medicare Coverage?
According to Medicare.gov, Medicare Part B will provide coverage for “certain telehealth services.” For instance, those who are in treatment for substance abuse or who have a co-occurring mental health issue qualify for telehealth services. It also notes that those with Medicare Advantage plans may qualify for additional services.
Moreover, the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services (cms.gov) states that Medicare is authorized to expand telehealth coverage under the Coronavirus Preparedness and Response Supplemental Appropriations Act. And Medicaid may also provide coverage for telehealth services. However, coverage is dependent on a state-by-state basis, so it’s best to check with the state agency in charge of Medicaid.
Using a 100% Online Therapy Service
Even before the pandemic online therapy services were offering treatment to clients. This could vary depending on what you wanted and what the service provided. For instance, there is the option where you and a therapist have a session via a video link. Or you could be texting with a therapist.
Whether or not your insurance company provides partial or full coverage depends on the company and the laws of the state you live in. Again, when in doubt, ask your insurance carrier and check the provider’s website. Also, keep in mind some companies such as Anthem offer their own online therapy services.
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Online therapy is such a helpful tool for accessing needed mental health care nowadays. It’s important during these difficult times that you can utilize all the tools available to you. The process of finding out if your insurance pays for the services, however, can seem daunting. But you can simplify it by checking with your therapist and contacting the insurance company about your options.
If you want to learn more about online therapy with Luminous Counseling and whether you are covered, I invite you to reach out to us, 256-686-9195.
There are many articles written about what to watch out for when it comes to depression. You may have seen posts warning you to be aware of certain symptoms.
Yet, what about how to recognize when you’re actually feeling better?
This isn’t discussed as much, but it’s very important. Oftentimes, though, people are so stuck in depression that it takes a while for them to even realize that they are on the track towards recovery.
If you are going to engage in the recovery process, then it would certainly help to know when your depression is improving.
Here then are four signs that help you measure your progress.
1. You’re Doing Better at Getting Things Done
One of the big problems with depression is that, in the most severe forms, it completely takes over your life. And that makes you often incapable of balancing the balls that we all must juggle constantly in our busy lives.
For example:
Going to bed and waking up regularly
Dressing and preparing for work
Maintaining your job
Eating healthy meals
Exercising
Daily chores such as taking out the trash, cleaning your home, paying bills, etc.
However, as you continue with your recovery process, you may notice that you’re getting better at handling these things. Maybe not everything at first. But perhaps you have started to go out for a run again or are able to wake up when you’re supposed to.
Over time, these little victories add up into major successes!
2. The Symptoms of Depression Start to Improve
Along with improved productivity, you begin to notice that your depression symptoms are getting better too.
This might not be an overnight experience. Rather, over time, you may realize one day that you don’t feel as guilty as you used to. Or you begin to notice that you haven’t had one of those persistent crying episodes that you used to experience frequently.
These are good things!
Now, you might still find yourself feeling sad occasionally. But remember that everyone feels sad from time-to-time. The important thing is that the frequency of those episodes has diminished.
If you’re not sure, ask a family member or friend whose opinion you value for feedback. Ask if they have noticed anything different about you.
3. You Don’t Slip Back into Depression
This is also known as relapsing. Typically, we think of relapse in terms of addiction and substance abuse. Yet the term is also appropriate for those struggling with depression. Especially if you have been dealing with depression for a long time.
It’s not unheard of for people to fall back into depression. After all, it’s more than a feeling. Depression is a mindset that can become strongly ingrained. Or, put another way, it’s the lens through which you have viewed the world.
Making different choices and choosing a different lifestyle can be difficult at first because it’s all so different than what you are used to. However, with practice and repetition, it does get easier!
4. The Medication Is Doing What It’s Supposed to Do
A final indicator that your depression is getting better has to do with the effectiveness of your medication. You will know when the medication is working when you experience not just the signs listed previously but also fewer side effects.
Medications can have side effects and it may take some time to fine-tune the right dosage. However, when that happens you should be able to experience all the benefits that medication can offer with alleviating symptoms without having to experience any serious side effects.
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Although it’s important to recognize the signs of depression, that’s not enough. Rather, it’s critical that you learn to identify when things are actually getting better. These truly are victories, whether they be big or small. Collectively, they can help you overcome depression.
To learn more, talk to a therapist who specializes in depression counseling. I invite you to contact us to find out how we can help, 256-686-9195.
All too often we may face a stressful situation not feeling confident that we have any control at all over what’s happening. That lack of control, in turn, creates more stress.
This could happen with a stand-alone situation or a problem that stretches over the years. And if you’re dealing with long-term stress, you could feel more like you are simply enduring rather than resolving the issue as a result.
So what’s the solution?
It’s redirecting your focus from what you can’t control to what you can. Having the ability to make this shift will not only lift your spirits, but this change in mindset will also allow you to thrive when facing ongoing stress.
The Meaning of Control
First, let’s take a step back and consider the meaning of control. The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines control in this way: “to exercise restraining or directing influence over.” It also includes in the definition “to have power over.”
These are important concepts when it comes to considering control in our own lives. More often we have the power to exercise control over things that are immediately within our spheres of influence. However, when it comes to issues on a much larger scale, we have less power to exert any influence directly.
The problem for many is that when they feel powerless to have any control, that’s when stress begins to develop. As you can imagine, if this continues over time, the stress levels keep rising. And that can become a major disruption in your life and can lead to unhealthy ways of coping.
The Difference Between the Little and Big Picture
As noted, for many, it’s much easier to have control over things in their immediate lives.
For example, let’s say that your faucet is leaking. That’s a common problem that happens with many homeowners. Most likely you have the power to fix the problem yourself. You take a wrench and tighten a connection, and presto, the issue is solved!
Even if you can’t fix the leak, you know that you can call a plumber for help. That’s the little picture.
However, what if there is a major flood in your neighborhood and you have to evacuate? It can be really hard to make that decision. You feel so powerless over what isn’t in your control (the weather, a dam failing, etc.).
Neither you nor someone else can do anything about that. And that’s the big picture.
Focusing on What’s in Your Immediate Control
To cope with enduring stress it’s helpful to focus your attention on what you can do, versus what you can’t.
For instance, using the flood example above, you can’t control the fact that you had to evacuate. Yet, you can redirect your focus on ensuring that your family is taken care of and that you’re going through the steps of filing an insurance claim. And when you return home after the floodwaters recede, you can focus on either rebuilding or moving.
While that doesn’t seem to be much control, sometimes, the only control we do have in a situation is what choices we make. But that is still a measure of control that can help you feel some power during a stressful situation.
When You Can’t Be in Control
However, for some, it seems as if it’s not possible to exert any control over their lives.
For instance, when you struggle with substance abuse, it doesn’t feel as if there is much you can do about the situation. One problem compounds onto another and another. Soon there is a long list of problems and few solutions. And it’s easy to think: ‘If there isn’t anything I can do about these problems, why bother even trying in the first place?’
However, even when faced with such overwhelming issues, there is still much you can do. You can’t control the fact that you got a DUI charge. That’s not going away. But there is still a lot that is in your power and control.
For example:
Attending support groups or meetings
Seeking out a sponsor
Taking steps to live a healthier life
Participating in substance abuse counseling
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Even when a situation is dire, there is most likely something you can do to stay in control. However, it can be hard to identify what those options are. If you are facing enduring stress and are struggling with not feeling in control of your life, talking to a counselor about how stress therapy can help you is a good step. I invite you to contact us, 256-686-9195.
All too often people come to counseling because they feel stuck by obstacles in their lives. Most of the time, these obstacles are not based in reality. Rather, they are part of an inner narrative created by these individuals.
It’s a narrative that includes themes such as powerlessness or not being capable to solve the problem. And these themes keep many people, perhaps even you, from making positive life changes.
After all, why even bother trying if you’re not capable of doing so, right?
But that’s not true!
With the help of psychotherapy, it’s possible to make the changes you want so that you can live the life you deserve.
Here’s how it works.
Reframing What Failure Means
When people come to counseling, they often see themselves as “failures.” No matter how hard they try, it just isn’t possible to get the results they want. Over time these events compound, exacerbating the problem.
However, what if those failures weren’t dead-ends after all? Instead, could it be possible to reframe those moments as opportunities for growth? Psychotherapy can assist you with reframing and redefining failures into what they really are: possibilities for success.
Building a New Self-Awareness
Those who go to therapy are often painfully self-conscious of themselves. That’s usually due to issues such as anxiety or depression. When they look in the mirror, they don’t see someone who’s capable of accomplishing great things. Rather, they apply all of those unhelpful labels (including failure) to themselves.
If that’s you, building a new self-awareness is necessary in order to make positive life changes. This self-awareness is based on knowing what situations or thought processes may trigger negativity. Psychotherapy then helps you with taking the next step towards doing something about them.
Assembling a Toolbox for Success
A big part of psychotherapy is learning skills that you can use when you slip back into old patterns of thinking. It’s these tools that allow you to choose something different when you begin to have those feelings.
That way, you don’t have to slip back into an unhealthy thinking pattern. Instead, you do something different that allows you to get back on track. This could be a breathing technique or even giving yourself a simple reminder that everything is going to be OK.
Providing a Safe Place to Try New Things
It isn’t easy to forge a new outlook on life. This is especially true when you have had many years of baggage to carry with you. In therapy, you can find a safe place to try making positive life changes. You don’t have to fear judgment or ridicule from others. Far from it!
Therapy sessions are a time when you don’t have to put up those emotional walls you use to protect yourself. Rather, you can be real and honest—not just with your counselor but with yourself too. Plus, psychotherapy allows you the chance to try out and practice the tools that will be so important for managing emotions outside of session.
Discovering an Inner Light
All of these aspects point towards one thing: uncovering your inner light. Once all of the negativity has been stripped away, what’s left is the power you carry with you to make changes.
But for some, it takes help and support to find it. That’s the job of a therapist and the whole point of counseling. It is intended to help you find your inner power and harness it. You have the potential to make it happen!
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The role of psychotherapy is not meant to focus on what’s “bad.” Instead, the point of therapy is to empower you so that you can make positive life changes. I invite you to reach out to learn more about how our approach to psychotherapy can help you, 256-573-8922.
Trauma is more than simply having a terrible experience. Indeed, a traumatic life-event can cut to the very core of your being.
Everything that you know about the world and your place in it is turned upside down. You thought that you were safe and secure, but you were not. The people or institutions in your life that you believed you could count on have let you down.
This could have happened at any time during your life, whether you were a child or stretching into adulthood.
Despite all the pain and pitfalls that trauma can bring, it is possible to heal. Trauma therapy can provide the support you need on the path to recovery. Part of your journey is understanding what phase one of that path should look like—establishing safety.
No Longer Feeling Exposed
With unresolved trauma, you are always feeling exposed to danger and threats. Your brain doesn’t believe that you are safe. So it continuously remains in that state of alert where anything could trigger a strong reaction.
However, through trauma treatment, you can begin with learning to establish safety within yourself and ease up a bit. It will be a gradual process and might take a little while. But in time, you’ll come to understand what it means to no longer feel like you are in constant danger. And you’ll learn that you do not have to take shelter behind the emotional walls you have built.
Of course, that doesn’t mean you feel completely relaxed. But you can at least loosen your grip a little.
Getting Your Needs Met
Another part of phase one in your healing journey is that you are getting what you need to feel whole. In fact, for trauma recovery to work in the long-run, it’s necessary to have all these basic needs satisfied.
That means, for example:
Eating healthy
Having a safe place to live
Getting enough sleep
Exercising
Avoiding drugs and alcohol
Not putting your safety at risk through self-harm
Note that this not only involves physical needs but also emotional ones. And that means feeling okay with sharing your story, expressing your thoughts and feelings, and not fearing any repercussions for doing so. Focusing on both your physical and emotional needs lays the groundwork for internal safety.
Having People to Count On
You can’t go it alone in trauma recovery. Rather, you need to have a support system of people you can count on. These are more than just friends (although friendships are important). They are the kind of people you know you can rely on to have your back, no matter what.
If you need to talk, they will pick up the phone. If you need someone in-person with you to feel safe, they will visit you. With these people, you can be yourself, lower your emotional walls, and be completely comfortable in your skin.
That’s a tall order, for sure. However, everyone has someone in their lives that falls into this category. Identifying these sources of unwavering support increases your feelings of safety because it creates a safe relational environment.
Keeping Your Emotions in Check
The final piece of phase one involves emotional management. What this means is that if you experience a trigger, you have the capacity to manage your emotions. This could be a grounding technique such as identifying your five senses. Or you may focus on your breathing and how it relates to your body.
The idea is that if you do get escalated, you are able to manage the situation, create safety, and prevent things from getting out of control.
Note that there is a difference between managing and controlling. You can’t control how you feel. However, you do have the power to use an intervention strategy to keep your emotions from overwhelming you.
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Recovering from trauma takes time. But that doesn’t mean it’s impossible. What’s important is following a plan that allows you to heal by, first and foremost, creating safety. Completing phase one of your journey means you’ll have reached a point where you no longer feel like you are simply reacting to your trauma. Instead, you are beginning to respond in a thoughtful way that empowers you.
If you are interested in learning more about the trauma recovery process, reach out to today to talk about how therapy can help you, 256-573-8922.
Thanks to coronavirus we are spending more time than ever together. Yet, even though physically we may be in the same space as our partners, it’s still possible to be disconnected.
Work can be one reason, especially now in the time of remote working. Maybe both of you sit in your workspaces staring into a computer screen. Another reason could be how you allocate your time. Perhaps you’re prioritizing other things over your relationship.
These and other challenges can spell trouble for any relationship. Even before the pandemic, many couples struggled to stay connected. But thanks to coronavirus, disconnect is on the rise.
What can you do? Here are five tips for how you and your partner can maintain your connection, even during these difficult times.
1. Don’t Forget the Old Reliable: Date Night
Date night has always been the go-to solution to help couples stay connected. It makes sense as to why. Having a date night allows you and your partner to specifically set aside time to be together. Plus, you are doing something special.
In the past, that might have meant going out to eat at a favorite restaurant or going to a show. Now, date night may mean cooking a special meal together and watching a program on your streaming service. You might have to get creative. But whatever you decide to do, do it together!
2. Laugh a Little!
Maintaining a sense of humor is always beneficial to any relationship. It feels good to laugh together. You both release some stress and feel more connected, both physically and cognitively.
Laughter is a great coping mechanism, especially when times are tough. So go ahead and enjoy those spontaneous and absurd moments that can only be solved with a smile and a laugh. You really will feel better, and you’re giving each other the assurance that you’re in this together.
3. Express Gratitude
One problem with the coronavirus crisis is that it has left us in a perpetual state of anxiety and stress. That puts us on edge, and in turn, causes us to be more reactive to others.
For instance, let’s say you’re watching a news report that is depressing and anxiety-inducing. Your partner comes in and asks you to do something for them. Instead of responding in a kind and caring manner, you snap back at them. But this kind of reaction only erodes your relationship.
To counter this effect, aim to express your gratitude to your partner each day. That doesn’t mean you have to make grandiose pronouncements of your appreciation. Rather, it could be saying “thank you” for cooking a delicious meal or a simple note that you love and value your partner.
4. Take on Tasks Together
Even though the coronavirus crisis is still ongoing, that hasn’t stopped all the other demands of life. There are tasks to accomplish around the house, bills to pay, and kids to raise (if you have any).
One thing that brings couples together is when there is a challenge and a need to be on the same page. So talk to each other about a game plan for how to address the matter and decide who is going to do what. For example, you may agree to do housecleaning tasks for this week while your partner focuses on ensuring the kids are staying on top of their school assignments.
Be flexible with these roles. Remember that sometimes one of you might have to temporarily take on more tasks so that the other can recharge. Just keep in mind to keep communicating with each other.
5. Talk Frankly with One Another
Because coronavirus has caused so much stress and anxiety, it’s important to have frank discussions about how each of you is doing. Be honest about your feelings. If you feel stressed, say that you are stressed. And if your partner is expressing their feelings, it’s critical that you listen and be attentive to them.
It’s okay to switch roles too. One partner can’t always be the calm and listening one. Talk to one another and provide the support that only partners can.
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The current pandemic presents many challenges for all of us. However, if you are in a relationship, this is even more true. However, always remember that you have each other to lean on.
If, though, you find that you need additional support, please don’t hesitate to contact us and find out how couples therapy could help you,256-602-2079.
One of the many emotions associated with trauma is grief. That’s because when you experience trauma you are often grieving for a loss.
Maybe it was the loss of personal safety or the passing of a loved one. Regardless of what it was, grief will linger long after the events connected to the trauma pass.
It can be very hard to move past grief. That’s because the problem is that grief can transform into post-traumatic stress disorder or PTSD.
However, it is possible to find healing using a technique called Eye-Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR).
Here are four ways in which EMDR supports coping and healing from grief.
1. Learning New Coping Skills
Before the EMDR process even begins, you will learn and practice coping skills for trauma. You will need these useful skills when you are participating in an EMDR session. Why? Because the recall of painful memories is necessary for this process to work.
However, doing this will obviously not be easy when you are in the moment and a memory becomes too much to bear. And that’s where coping skills, such as mindful breathing and other methods, can help. They allow you to stay centered and get back on track, rather than have the whole session be derailed.
Learning these skills will also be useful for coping in your everyday life if those memories come to the surface and overwhelm you with grief.
2. Finding Connection with Your Whole Self
EMDR therapy can also help you cope and heal from grief by finding a greater connection with yourself.
With trauma and PTSD, people often struggle with a disconnect between their mind and the rest of their body. Oftentimes, this happens because the overwhelm of grief shuts down the processing of the trauma through a disconnect from your body. In fact, some people will report feeling outside of themselves. Or they don’t perceive any connection between what they are thinking and the rest of their body.
EMDR can help restore that connection. It specifically targets the reprocessing of the grievous memory and thus removes the block and reconnects your body and mind.
3. Learning to Let Go
When you are grieving it can be particularly hard to let go. There are several reasons why this occurs:
You constantly replay what happened in your mind, searching for a different outcome.
If you stop grieving, you fear you will forget, especially if it involves someone you care about.
You may punish and blame yourself for the events that occurred, even if they were not your fault.
Not letting go can have tragic results long-term. It can lead to substance abuse, addiction, or worse. That’s why grief needs to be processed and resolved.
With EMDR, you are able to accomplish this over the course of the treatment. The therapeutic process helps your brain to calm down and process your memories without the emotional attachment. Eventually, feelings of grief will no longer overwhelm you when you recall a memory associated with the trauma.
4. Living Your Life
Of course, things are not going to be entirely the same as they were before the trauma. No therapeutic technique can promise that, and you should be suspicious of any kind of false promises like that.
Rather, EMDR gives you the tools and support to face those memories and actually resolve them. And you’re not alone in the process. An EMDR therapist’s job is to guide you through the resolution of grief. They know how to strike the right balance between providing guidance while also allowing you the space to feel your emotions.
But this is different from when you feel emotions on your own, and they seem out of control. You are in the “driver’s seat” and have the power to stop when it gets too much. Remember, resolving grief is a process, but the results will allow you to feel free to live your life again.
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Practicing EMDR with a therapist trained in the technique can help you to resolve your many symptoms connected to your trauma. This includes grief. If you want to learn more about how EMDR therapy could help you, please don’t hesitate to contact us, 256-602-2079.
