You obviously want to be nice to your partner. After all, who wants to be in a relationship with a jerk? However, to create a lasting connection, it’s important to validate your partner too.
Validating transcends being nice or polite with one another (although they too are important in their own right and shouldn’t be ignored!). Rather, validating sends the message to your partner about how important they are. Not just as individuals themselves, but where they rank in importance in your own life.
Validating has the power to cement a relationship that already is close. It can also help bring two partners closer together if they have been drifting apart.
Here’s why validating your partners means so much and how to do it well.
Understanding What Validating Means
When you look up the word “validate” in the Merriam-Webster dictionary, you find these keywords:
Confirm
Support
Recognize
Establish
Worthiness
Those are some powerful words! So, when you are validating someone you are confirming and supporting that who they are is deserving of worth.
This could involve validating someone’s humanity. However, it could also be recognizing that their perspective is important and deserves your attention.
Even if you both have differing viewpoints, by acknowledging their perspective can mean so much to them. That creates a powerful bond between you and your partner with fosters acceptance, trust, and openness. Now, let’s consider how to validate your partner.
1. Acknowledge Their Emotions
All too often partners make the mistake of discounting one another’s emotions. This occurs even in relatively healthy relationships, but it is also very apparent in dysfunctional ones, too. One person says that the other is being way too dramatic or that what they feel is “ridiculous.” That’s an important word to watch out for.
If you say that or something similar, what you are really communicating is that their emotions and feelings don’t matter. Yet if you acknowledge those feelings, what’s different? They no longer have to explain themselves and have established that what they feel is valid. That’s so important!
2. Encourage Your Partner
Encouragement means more than saying “Go for it” or something similar. Rather, you encourage your partner when they truly don’t believe in themselves. This is the lowest of the low moments. Your partner doesn’t believe that they can do something. For example:
Applying for a good job that’s the perfect fit
Sticking to a diet or exercise routine
Finishing school and earning their degree
When you encourage your partner, you are telling them you truly believe in their capabilities. You affirm that they have the power to meet their goal.
Really, you are not conveying anything on them. In fact, what you are really saying is that they already have all the tools, skills, and abilities to be successful. How validating is that!
Using Assertive Listening
Practicing assertive listening involves speaking less and hearing more. You let your partner speak until they feel they have communicated all that they need to say. Then you summarize what they have said and reflect that back to them.
Note that you do not parody or repeat your partner’s words verbatim. That’s not listening, but recording! Rather, what you are attempting to do both in action and words is saying that you hear your partner. You are absorbing what they are saying and making it a part of your own. It’s a powerful tool that really helps with fostering understanding between each of you.
Validating is more of an art form. It requires skill and practice to be done well. However, when you do so it breaks down barriers between people, whether or not they are in a relationship together, to create a closer connection.
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If you want to improve the relationship with your partner through validating, reach out today to find out how couples’ counseling can work, 256-686-9195.
It’s so frustrating having fights over the same relationship issues. After a while you feel as if there’s a broken record playing. There’s no resolution, only arguing, fighting, and hurt feelings. You may even have wondered if the only way out of this mess is to end the relationship.
However, that doesn’t have to be the case. You and your partner can find solutions to these problems. To do so, it’s going to require being intentional and deliberate with both your actions and how you interact with your partner.
Here’s how.
Stop Talking!
First, stop talking! That sounds harsh, but it’s also reality. So often a heated conversation escalates into a fight because both sides couldn’t stop talking. We are very perceptible creatures.
You may have noticed that when your partner talks faster, so do you. If you talk louder, they raise their voice. These acts are hard-wired into our brains. So, in order to break the cycle of fighting, you need to first stop talking. Otherwise, the arguing will not only continue but escalate.
Cool Down
Next, take time to cool down. You might think you’re too old for a “time-out.” However, you’re not. Taking space from your partner gives you both the opportunity to unwind from a very tense moment.
You’d be surprised how quickly you can calm down just by stepping away from the conversation and taking 10 minutes to yourself. This act also works to break up the cycle of arguing and prevents an escalated situation from getting worse.
Consider Your Emotions
All too often fights start because one person believes the other is being “ridiculous” or are offended by what the other partner has to say. But why? What happened?
Most likely the answer isn’t in what your partner said (although it takes two people to have an argument). Rather, it’s how you emotionally react to what’s happening that matters.
For instance, your partner says they feel disappointed in you. You might feel sad or even angry, but deep down you might also feel shame. It’s these deeper emotions that can fuel an argument and perpetuate fights.
Be Honest with Yourself
One of the biggest hurdles with resolving differences between partners is owning your role in the fighting. It’s way easier to put all the blame on your partner for the fights. Yet, this ignores your role in the fighting.
As mentioned above, it takes two people to have an argument. That means you play a big role in how these arguments occur. Take a moment and reflect on your role with the fighting. This level of honesty isn’t always easy. It’s hard to look in the mirror and acknowledge your flaws, but this is also critical for finding a solution.
Work to Find Common Ground
Ultimately, in order to resolve the fighting, you and your partner need to find common ground. That isn’t easy if you both feel you’re worlds apart. However, it is possible. One way to approach the situation is by separating your partner from the problem.
All too often we consider our partner to be the obstacle getting in the way of resolving the argument. “If only they’d see things my way!” When we do that, it prevents us from addressing the deeper issues at hand.
Ultimately, it takes communication and an open mind for both partners to resolve their differences. This is especially if you and your partner are very far apart on the relationship issues that cause these fights. Couple’s counseling can help with this process and provide the space for both of you to heal. Reach out today to learn more, 256-686-9195.
We’ve all become a little more sensitive about our health because of the pandemic.
That includes following the U.S. Centers for Disease Control (CDC) recommendations of wearing a mask when out in public, handwashing frequently, and maintaining a distance of six feet or more from other people.
But what if you have been experiencing a lot more stress about your health? Have you been checking your temperature constantly, or checking online to research symptoms you can’t explain? Are you spending a lot of energy thinking, and worrying, about your health?
Then you might struggle with health anxiety. Here are five ways that you can cope with health anxiety during the pandemic.
1. Educate Yourself…
First, whenever you are struggling with a fear, it’s helpful to have useful information about that subject. When coping with health anxiety because of the pandemic, that includes understanding the symptoms of COVID-19, as well as current recommendations. According to the CDC, these can include:
Headache
Sore throat
Coughing
Body aches/achy muscles.
Congestion
Fever
Chills
Trouble breathing.
Diarrhea
A recent inability to taste or smell.
Knowing these symptoms is not meant to cause more anxiety. Rather, it’s meant to fend off fear. Keep in mind that fear occurs when you don’t understand something or lack knowledge.
2. But Don’t Go Overboard!
On the flip side, spending all of your time researching symptoms and self-diagnosing yourself isn’t helpful either. The internet has been a wonderful tool for disseminating knowledge about the coronavirus to the public. However, there’s a lot of misinformation too, especially when you get into social media platforms.
Don’t use social media as a source for your medical information. In fact, limiting your social media use will be better for your mental health, anyway! Instead, use trusted, verified sources for health information, such as the CDC or the World Health Organization (WHO) to learn what is COVID-19, how it spreads, and for health updates.
3. Focus on Your Self-Care
The ironic thing if you struggle with health anxiety is that you may expend all of this effort to determine whether you are ill, while not taking care of yourself! These include the things that actually make a big difference with your health. For example:
Eating nutritious foods that include lean protein, fruits, vegetables, and healthy fats. Toss out the junk food!
Exercising frequently.
Establishing an evening routine that allows you to go to bed at a regular time and get eight hours of sleep.
Keeping your mind sharp by reading, doing puzzles, etc.
Spending time outdoors.
These all sound so simple, but they really make a big difference in staying healthy.
4. Practicing Coping Skills
When you have a moment where your health anxiety peaks, it feels as if you are out of control. However, there are skills you can learn which allow you to stay present and in control of your body. That way you can process through the situation and make a more reasonable decision. These include:
Breathing techniques to keep oxygen flowing into your lungs and also avoid hyperventilating.
Staying grounded in the present by noting your environment and what you experience through your different senses.
Practicing meditation where you acknowledge your thoughts but allow them to slip away without hyper-focusing on them.
5. Counseling for Health Anxiety
Finally, any plan for coping with health anxiety should also include counseling and professional support. Health anxiety can be the source of so much stress in your life. There has to be a deeper reason why it’s happening. By participating in counseling, you and your therapist will get to the true reasons why you struggle with health anxiety. Then, you can work toward resolving those issues, and learning how to better cope.
Everyone is more conscious of their health due to the pandemic. But, if you are constantly worried and stressed about your health and getting sick, then you may have anxiety. Some simple life adjustments can help, but therapy will be important too. Find out today how anxiety treatment with Luminous Counseling and Consulting will help, 256-686-9195.
All too often when we talk about post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) it is within the context of the person suffering from the condition. However, we don’t always discuss the people closest to their loved one who has PTSD. This could be a spouse, children, parents, etc.
Even if they never directly experienced the trauma that caused the PTSD, they are still feeling the effects. That’s very important to keep in mind when considering PTSD treatment. It really needs to involve the whole family.
Here are three ways in particular that PTSD impacts the whole family, and what families can do about it.
1. Increased Stress and Anxiety
Stress is definitely an issue for any family member of a loved one who has PTSD. They may see their loved one get angry really easily and quickly. One moment they seem fine, but the next they lash out.
This may be because of a triggering event that is causing them to recall a traumatic memory. Or, they always seem grumpy and moody all the time. This is still anger, but to a lesser degree than rage. Still, when you know someone is moody, stressed, anxious, or angry, you feel anxious too.
Now, imagine that is happening all the time at home. Even children will pick up if their parent or older sibling is angry. They may learn not to talk to them when this happens. This directly impacts the relationship between the child and the parent.
2. The Spouse and PTSD
Someone who is in a committed relationship with a person diagnosed with PTSD has their own set of challenges. For example:
They take on more responsibility to maintain the household while their partner is working through their diagnosis.
The spouse/partner tries to insulate their partner from potential triggers
When a triggering even occurs, the spouse may witness destructive behaviors from their partner.
The spouse could be directly impacted, such as being yelled at or worse.
This is a difficult position for any spouse or partner to be in. On the one hand, you want to support your loved one to ensure they get the help and support they need. You know their PTSD isn’t their fault. However, it’s also hard taking on such a burden with no help.
3. Substance Use, PTSD, and the Family
One significant problem with PTSD is substance abuse. According to the Veteran’s Administration, two out of ten veterans diagnosed with PTSD also struggle with substance abuse.
Someone with PTSD may try to hide their substance abuse from their partner or family. However, in the long-term, it’s very hard to keep it hidden. The reality is that substance abuse will eventually affect the family.
Maybe that person comes home at night drunk. Or they get into a car accident. Perhaps this person and their partner get into a fight about the substance use in front of the children.
There are so many ways that substance use, even without a PTSD diagnosis, harms the family. When you add that extra layer it amplifies the problem.
Addressing PTSD and the Family
To address PTSD and the family, it helps if everyone participates in counseling. There several avenues that families can pursue. For example:
Family counseling for everyone as a group
Individual therapy for each family member (including children)
Addiction counseling if substance use is involved
Families should be aware of how PTSD not only impacts their loved one, but the whole family too. Be on the lookout for how the above warning signs might occur at home. If they are, don’t hesitate to reach out for help from one of our therapists who understands these complex issues, 256-686-9195.
Social media is a big part of life for many people. On the surface, there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s a great way to stay connected with people you don’t regularly get to see. It’s useful for sharing information with friends and family. Throughout the COVID-19 pandemic, it’s been a wonderful way to feel a sense of community when social distancing was the norm.
But, there are major downsides to social media, too.
In fact, there have been multiple studies on the effects of social media on mental health. Most of those studies have found that the more time people spend on social media platforms, the more depressed they are.
So what’s the connection? Why can spending so much time on social media cause you to feel down, or fuel an existing bout of depression?
Let’s take a closer look at the link.
A Highlight Reel of People’s Lives
One of the biggest reasons it’s easy to get depressed over social media is envy. You might scroll through your Facebook feed and see pictures of your friends and family doing exciting things, smiling, laughing, etc.
Or maybe someone posted an inspirational quote. Someone else may have gotten a new car, a new job, or they’re in a new relationship.
It’s easy to feel envious of other people’s lives when they all seem to be so perfect.
But think about how realistic that actually is.
Most social media posts are nothing more than a highlight reel of people’s lives. They want to put the best of themselves out into the world. But they aren’t showing the everyday “problems” they face, just like everyone else.
Think about your own social media posts. Chances are, you’re more likely to share happy and exciting moments than talk about times when you’re feeling down. Everyone else is thinking the same thing. So, it’s important to take what you’re seeing online with a grain of salt. No one’s life is perfect, and you never know what’s going on behind the scenes.
The Desire to Be “Liked”
In addition to social media appearing perfect, there is a second aspect to it that can fuel depression. Most platforms allow you to “like” whatever is shared. Every site has its own way of doing it, but there is always a way to give and receive some kind of kudos from friends and family.
In this way, social media can fuel anxiety. Once you share something, you might wait on pins and needles to see who “likes” it. You might have a certain number in your head that will make you satisfied in how many of those “likes” you get.
If that number falls short, it’s not hard to let your mind wander and to start feeling very low, very quickly.
There are many things that come into play with likes and interaction on social media. Sometimes, algorithms keep people from seeing what you share. Other times, someone might just quickly scroll by your post. Rarely is a “like” missed because someone feels negatively toward you. But it’s easy to feel that way.
Stepping Away From Social Media
Those same studies that found social media can contribute to depression found the opposite to be true, as well.
If you step away from social media, even for a short period of time, your symptoms of depression can improve. So, if you’re feeling weighed down by your own social media presence, there’s a quick fix. Limit your time, or quit altogether for a while, and see how much of a difference it can make. Focus more on real-world experiences, and you’ll quickly see how trivial a digital life can be. Contact us today to better your situation, 256-686-9195.
It can be difficult enough facing an addiction as an individual. However, what about if both you and your partner are struggling with addiction at the same time?
In some ways, this compounds on top of a situation that is fraught with emotional baggage, complex personal histories, and also relationship dynamics.
But it’s not all doom and gloom! Partners can also be supportive of one another and be sources of emotional and spiritual strength. If you and your partner are struggling with addiction, here are three ways to address the problem together and to promote healing.
1. Admit That Both of You Have an Addiction
As with so many cases, one of the first steps towards healing from an addiction is acknowledging that there is a problem. This means being willing as a couple to sit down, look at each other truthfully, and say that there is a problem. And that you both need help!
It’s the only way that you will heal together as a couple. You can’t have one person saying they have an addiction, and the other partner denying it. Or worse, they blame all the problems in the relationship on the other partner! That doesn’t help at all.
2. Be Willing to Support One Another
Second, if you and your partner are facing an addiction together, then you both need to support one another. This support can occur in several ways:
Agreeing to not have substance in your home.
Attending meetings, support groups, and similar events together
Making new choices together that support a healthier lifestyle, such as diet and exercise.
Additionally, partners can hold each other accountable with one another’s choices. For instance, by signing up for a fitness class together you are both holding each other accountable that you will both attend the class.
3. Improving Communication Skills When Facing Addiction
If you both struggle with addiction, then most likely there have been times when your communication has not been the best. Perhaps each of you said things to each other that you regret, and, and, and that damaged the relationship. That’s why improving your communication skills is so critical when in recovery together. For instance:
Problem-solving daily issues together.How each of you copes with stress.
Expressing your feelings to one another in an appropriate way.
Communicating what you are experiencing when in crisis so that you can get the help you need.
Communication skills also includes learning how to be more attentive to your partner to meet their needs. When you show your attentiveness to each other, you promote understanding and a stronger sense of connection.
Counseling and Addiction as a Couple
Certainly, counseling will be an important component of your recovery plan together. In counseling, you will both learn new communication skills and have the opportunity to practice with each other in a supportive setting. But there is so much more that you will benefit! For instance:
Couples counseling to learn how to communicate, and examine how substance use has influenced your relationship. In what ways is your relationship healthy, and in which ways it is not? What could be done to improve the health of your relationship?
Individual counseling to focus on issues that are affecting just you. For instance, resolving traumatic experiences that could be influencing your addiction.
Substance abuse counseling to better examine and understand your relationship to substances and why you have become addicted.
Recovering from addiction is never an easy path to follow. And certainly facing addiction as a couple makes things more complicated. Yet, you each can also be supportive of one another, provide love and affection, and hold one another accountable in your recovery journey. Therapy will be an important factor in your recovery as a couple. Find out today how we can help with couples counseling and addiction counseling, 256-686-9195.
You wake up in the morning, but you don’t want to get out of bed. Nor do you not want to go to work and earn a living.
Yet, at the same time, you don’t want to deal with any of it. It’s not because you are lazy or realize that you have lots of responsibilities or tasks.
In fact, you really want to do those things, and more! You want to connect with your friends, have fun, and relax. But something is stopping you, and that something is trauma.
The trauma that you experienced is having repercussions long after it happened. And those effects have made their way into your daily life.
Here’s how trauma can impact your daily life, and what to do about it.
Never Feeling Completely Safe
One issue associated with trauma is safety. When you experience trauma, it dramatically impacts your sense of personal safety. For instance, if you were in a car accident, it might be more difficult for you to feel safe driving afterward. Or, if you were subjected to abuse as a child, you find it very hard to form relationships and trust others.
Whether it’s physical safety, emotional safety, or a combination of the two, you never feel you can let down your guard. For example:
Having a lack of desire to form new relationships.
Snapping back whenever you receive feedback or constructive criticism.
You always worry that something terrible will happen.
When you don’t feel safe, it’s impossible to experience joy. Joy allows you to be open, relaxed, and revel in the moment.
Focusing and Concentrating
Another way that trauma impacts your daily life is your ability to focus and concentrate. People who have experienced trauma often struggle with concentrating on tasks and focusing on what they are doing. For instance, you might have trouble focusing and concentrating on a project at work that needs to be completed by a certain deadline.
In fact, the project requires that the work be done in a particular way. Now, it’s not as if you don’t have the intellectual capacity to complete the work. But if you experienced trauma, then you may have trouble with having your “head in the game.” Instead, you are distracted by the lingering memories of what you experienced.
When Solving Problems is Hard
We all must solve problems throughout our daily lives. These could range from cooking a meal that your kids will actually enjoy to navigating a complex issue at work. However, trauma can cause you to struggle with your problem-solving skills. You get overwhelmed easily with what needs to be done and shut down.
Overwhelm can be particularly distressing because the problem is still there! But instead of having a calm, logical mindset, you are emotionally flooded. You can’t solve the problem because your brain is too focused on your trauma.
Triggers are Everywhere
Triggers refer to instances where your mind flashes back to the moment(s) of trauma that you experienced. Think of them as reminders that jog your memory. For example:
The smell of gasoline.
Watching a movie or show that involves a car accident.
Hearing breaks screech.
All three of these examples bring you back to that time you lost control of your vehicle and slid off the road, hitting that telephone pole. However, instead of just recalling the memory, there is the extra addition of emotion.
You remember the fear that you felt at that moment, and how you were afraid you might die. That’s very powerful! Yet, if that trauma has not been resolved then the emotions will continue to flood back, sometimes when you least expect them.
How to Resolve Trauma
To resolve trauma, you need the professional support of a counselor who understands trauma and how it works. In therapy, you and your therapist will collaborate to get to understand why you still struggle with trauma and work to resolve those traumatic memories. You can’t forget what happened, but you don’t have to carry the emotional burden that continues to hold you back.
As you can see, there are several ways in which your traumatic experiences, even if they occurred long ago, creep into your daily life. The key to resolving your trauma is through counseling. Find out today how trauma counseling will help, 256-686-9195.
It’s never too late to work on your relationship. Getting to the underlying cause of whatever issues you might be facing can be hard to do on your own. That’s what makes couples therapy so effective and so important.
Unfortunately, there are plenty of common misconceptions about couples therapy. Those stereotypes and stigmas prevent far too many struggling couples from getting the help they need.
So, instead of brushing off counseling based on what you’ve heard, a better option is to ask questions that mean something to you.
When you feel more comfortable and confident as you first walk into a couples counseling session, you’ll be more likely to open up, show vulnerability, and truly believe therapy can help your relationship.
Not sure which questions you should ask? Obviously, it’s a very personal thing. But, let’s cover a few important ones that might inspire some of your own.
Ask About Your Counselor
It’s crucial to work with a couples therapist you can trust and feel comfortable with. So don’t be afraid to do your research. Unfortunately, some people believe therapists are going to be one-sided or use methods and techniques they don’t like.
Take the time to “look around” for different options. Contact therapists and ask about their process. Many times, going with your gut is the best thing to do, especially if you and your partner are on the same page about who you like and who you think can help.
It’s also important to look at credentials, read reviews, and ask what you can expect from your sessions. The more information you can get upfront from a potential counselor, the more confident and comfortable you’ll feel at your first session.
Ask Yourself: Is Something Holding Me Back?
If you’ve been hesitant to start counseling, ask yourself what’s holding you back before you commit. When you are able to clear that up, you’ll be more willing to commit yourself to therapy on a long-term basis.
Maybe you believe your relationship is too damaged. Or maybe you’re worried about your ability to fully and effectively communicate. Are there things you haven’t told your partner or secrets you’re worried they haven’t told you?
There are so many reasons people choose to be hesitant about therapy and won’t make a commitment. Asking yourself what’s truly holding you back is crucial. When you recognize it, you can commit to working through it.
Ask Your Partner: What’s Causing Problems?
Most couples who are considering therapy know there are issues they have to deal with and work through. But, far too often, they don’t fully grasp what those issues are. Or, they aren’t sure where they can make changes that would improve the relationship.
Asking about the underlying problems shouldn’t turn into a blame game or argument. Instead, it should bring some issues to light that you want to discuss with a therapist in a safe and neutral setting.
It’s important to know how you can bridge the gap with your partner. Understanding what’s causing the divide, in the first place, is the perfect place to start. Just talking about it, in fact, is a jumping-off point for the healing process. When you are both willing to open up about your problems and make a commitment to working on them, it shows your dedication to your relationship.
If you have questions about couples therapy and want to know more about what to expect, feel free to contact us, 256-686-9195. It’s understandable to be a bit hesitant, at first. But, if you’re willing to make a commitment to counseling, your relationship (and both people involved!) can truly start to heal.
You receive a notification on your phone. It’s an alert that reads, “Date”. Your eyes widen. You click on the notification. The location reads the name of a restaurant you’re familiar with.
Your eyes dart back and forth over the page in front of you. It starts to blur. Your body starts to fill with dread.
You look at the date and realize it’s scheduled for tomorrow. You don’t have much time.
Questions start to fill your head. Should you cancel? Are you really ready for this? What are you going to wear? How early should you arrive? What if they’re a no-show? What if you have nothing to talk about?
Nerves on a first date are common. When you start to feel overwhelmed or have feelings of doom or dread, it could be something more.
Here’s how to manage dating anxiety.
Assess Your Anxiety
Any type of anxiety can be overwhelming, no matter the cause. Getting down to the reasons why you may be feeling anxious can help you figure out ways to overcome it and feel more at ease. With dating, your anxiety could stem from any of the below:
You…
Think you’re an awkward person.
Assume they won’t like you.
Think you’re bad at dating.
Wonder if you’re a good fit with one another.
Worry you may say the wrong thing.
Dread awkward silences.
No matter the exact reason, your internal thoughts can make you question things and even believe things that aren’t necessarily true.
Think of it this way. Would your family and friends agree with any of the statements listed above? They probably wouldn’t. You have several different types of relationships in your life already: family, friends, and co-workers. There’s a reason you have those relationships and you’ve maintained them. The same can be done in a romantic aspect. Give yourself time and grace.
Acknowledge Your Anxiety
Haven’t you ever heard that admitting it is the first step? The same applies to anxiety.
Anxiety can make it difficult to admit to yourself, let alone friends, family, or your date. Even the thought of that may make you a little uneasy, and that’s okay! Recognizing and acknowledging that you’re anxious can actually help with your anxiety! Sure, you may be anxious about dating. Your date is probably feeling the same way!
Hope for the Best
Don’t put a pause on a relationship until it’s had a chance to blossom. Sometimes, people dealing with anxiety can put up walls as a way to protect themselves. Anxiety can also lead you down a road of negative thoughts, which can spiral you into thinking and assuming the worst in situations.
Put those negative thoughts aside. Instead, try imagining what could happen if it does work out! You could have a great time. The conversation could be exactly what you’re looking for, and you may even be able to feel confident throughout the entire date. You and your date may even be on the same page and could plan a second date before the first one ends! Calm your nerves by thinking positively!
Plan Ahead
A little bit of dating anxiety stems from the unknown. You can help to ease some of those feelings by planning the date ahead of time, so you know what to expect. Plan ahead with things like the following:
Your outfit.
The time you’ll meet.
The place you’ll meet at.
What you’re going to drink.
What you’re planning on eating.
Planning ahead will help you focus on the date instead of worrying about all the other details.
Get Help with Dating Anxiety
If you’re looking for dedicated professional help, we’re here to help. Call 256-686-9195 or make an appointment today.
The sound of your alarm clock blaring in your ear wakes you up. 6:00am on the dot. Your eyes shoot open, and you throw the covers off of yourself and crawl out of bed. Your first stop is the bathroom where you jump in the shower and begin your morning routine.
After brushing your teeth, you head to the kitchen and start to make yourself some breakfast.
You scan your closet and eventually settle on your outfit for the day. Running through a mental checklist, you gather all of your belongings.
You pause as soon as your hand grabs the door handle. It hits you.
What are you doing? You have no plans for the day. You have no job to go to anymore. You’re retired.
You start to wonder who are you without your career? What are you supposed to fill your days with if you don’t have a job to go to?
What is Retirement Depression?
Retirement may seem like a time where you can relax and have more free time to do the things you love, but for some, it can also lead to feelings of depression.
Many people link their careers as part of themselves. Their work gave them a sense of purpose in life. Their career made them a member of their community and society. It also helped provide for the life they built for themselves or their family.
Another cause of retirement depression can be the changes in home life. Your partner may still be working, and you may be the only one at home during the day. Or maybe you’re both retired and at home all day long together. Either way, this sudden change can be a tough one to navigate.
Retirement can also be viewed as a constant reminder that you’re getting older. Fears of aging, death, sickness, and disability may start to trickle in and cause depression-like symptoms.
How to Cope with Retirement Depression
There are several things you can do to try to make your transition into retirement a little easier on yourself.
Find Your New Routine
Before retirement, you used to plan your day around your job. Around the hours of 8am to 5pm, you were busy with work. Now that you don’t have that structured schedule anymore, you need to find a new routine that works for you. Retirement doesn’t have to mean doing nothing all day.
Fill your day with things that bring you joy. Go on a walk outside, find time for gardening, exercise, or volunteer in your community.
Go After Your Dreams
Now that you have more free time, go after the things you always wanted to that you may not have had the time for previously. Find a new hobby for yourself to fill your time with. Or maybe you can go exploring and travel more to places you’ve never been.
There is nothing stopping you. Get after it!
Get Together with Family, Friends, and Loved Ones
Visit your family and friends. Plan meals together. Offer to babysit or watch the kids for a day or even a weekend. Invite your family or friends over for coffee, dinner, or drinks.
You have more time and energy to surround yourself with loved ones. Chances are that you have friends or family that are also already retired as well.
Seek Help from a Professional
Sure, there are ways you can try to cope with your depression, but you don’t have to go through the fight alone. There are people who will help you get through these changes you’re facing. Family, friends, or even an unbiased third party like a therapist can help coach you through the depression you’re facing. They can give you the tools you need to overcome these uncertain times in your life.
Your time is now. Contact us, 256-686-9195, to schedule your first appointment today.