Category: Blog

COVID-19 Is the “Perfect Storm” for Addiction—Here’s Why

The COVID-19 crisis has created what can be considered to be a “perfect storm” for addiction.

When you consider the concept of a perfect storm, there are usually many concerns and problems, not just one. Some of these are structural, while others hit much closer to home. Yet, all can leave a person at greater risk for substance use.

If you or someone you know is struggling with addiction, it’s important to know why COVID-19 poses such a threat and what you can do about it.

Here are some of the elements that fuel this perfect storm.

The Health Threat

First, there is the problem that COVID-19 presents to our health in general. The coronavirus damages the lungs, and those who have the disease might need a ventilator.

That would be troubling for anybody, regardless if they were an addict or not. But according to the National Institutes of Health, people with an addiction may have a variety of health issues, which can include problems with the lungs, or even heart disease. And this means that they are already in a higher risk group for developing complications if they contract COVID-19 than those who do not have an addiction.

Drastic Changes to the Economy

Statistics have shown that substance use typically goes up during an economic downturn. Due to the coronavirus situation, the U.S. went from record levels of employment to levels of unemployment not seen since the Great Depression. And that transition happened suddenly, almost overnight.

Even in non-pandemic times, losing your job can be a very distressing life event. Many turn to substance use to cope. Add to the job loss the risk to your health from COVID-19 and you can begin to see how a “perfect storm” is developing.

Lack of Access to Treatment

People who are in recovery are finding it more difficult to have access to the treatment they need. For example, space is at a premium in hospitals and clinics, and it can be harder to get medications.

Another example is traditional support groups. Usually, these groups meet in-person to provide community and hope for those who are in addiction recovery. However, now those communities have been splintered apart due to the social-distancing requirements connected to COVID-19.

Online support groups are appearing to fill this void. However, it’s not the same as meeting in person. And not everyone who is in recovery has the technology or internet access to take advantage of these services.

The Threat of COVID-19 and Teen Substance Use

Teenagers can be at particular risk for substance abuse in these difficult times.

For one, their typical routines have been thrown out of balance. The support systems that we have in place to help teens, such as school, have changed in order to adapt to the pandemic. That means online learning vs. being in a classroom. Plus, many of the activities that kids and teens like to do have been halted, such as sports and extra-curricular activities. This also means more unstructured time and, for some, boredom.

And, ultimately, we still don’t know the full scope of the long-term effects of trauma due to COVID-19 on children and teens. Those may take years or even decades to appear.

As you can see, there is not just one issue that is problematic in connection with additions during the COVID-19 crisis. Rather, it is a whole host of challenges and obstacles that have appeared overnight. Not only does this make it difficult for people with an addiction to cope with stress in a healthy way, but you can also understand why many—including teens—may be at greater risk for using drugs or alcohol.

However, that doesn’t mean all hope is lost. If you or a loved one are struggling with substance abuse during this pandemic, please contact us to find out how addiction counseling can help, 256-602-2079.

Coping with Depressive Episodes: 4 Effective Steps

Depression isn’t necessarily constant in a person’s life. In fact, depression has been known to come and go over time.

Those moments when you are struggling with depression are known as depressive episodes. Generally, they last at least two weeks and can have a variety of symptoms associated with it. These can include fatigue, irritability, interrupted sleep, and especially a loss of interest in things that you typically like to do.

When you are stuck in a depressive episode, it’s important to know effective steps to cope with it.

Step #1: Be Familiar with How Depression Affects You

The first step in coping with depressive episodes is knowing how you experience depression. Not everyone goes through an episode in the same way. For instance, some people lose weight when they’re depressed while others gain weight.

Additionally, there can be a variety of reasons why you slip into a depressive episode. Maybe it’s when you feel stressed over how you perform at work. Or when a specific situation makes you worry that others might not accept you.

Knowing why you experience depression and how it affects you can be very helpful when you do have a depressive episode. After all, knowledge is power, and it will help make the situation feel less scary and intimidating. Plus, you will have a better idea of what you need to do to cope.

Step #2: Practice Good Self-Care

Everyone seems to recommend “practice self-care” when you are depressed. But what exactly does that mean?

Self-care is what you do to treat yourself gently and kindly. When you are in a depressive episode you might not feel like thriving. However, self-care allows you to get through those low moments while doing as little damage as possible to your mental or physical health and maintaining a balance.

Some examples of self-care practices include:

  • Keeping up with personal hygiene such as brushing your teeth, showering, etc.
  • Eating healthy meals and ensuring you are getting enough to eat, but not overeat
  • Savoring moments of joy, such as letting the sun shine on your face
  • Laughing!
  • Exercising regularly
  • Keeping your living area clean and tidy
  • Laundry!
  • Getting a full 8-hours of uninterrupted sleep each night

One important note is that it’s critical to also practice these things when you are not in a depressive episode. That way, when those low moments do happen, you are more likely to follow through with these habits and routines. And that will help you maintain a feeling of balance and control.

Step #3: Be Kind to Yourself

When you feel depressed, you likely think you are unworthy of love. And you become way more critical of yourself. However, it’s important that you remember it’s your depression causing those thoughts. They don’t actually reflect reality.

When you are depressed, try to be as kind to yourself as possible. Think of how you would treat a beloved friend if they were in your situations, and treat yourself the same. Practice forgiveness and acknowledge that it’s okay to make mistakes. And remind yourself that there are people who do care about you and love you. You are worthy!

Step #4: Ask for Help

One of the big problems associated with depression is that many people think they have to face it alone. Or that nobody really understands what they are feeling. Yet, that’s not true!

A lot of people struggle with depression, as many research studies have shown. That’s why, when you are stuck in a depressive episode, please don’t hesitate to ask for help.

Even before the depression strikes, have a friend or family member established to whom you know you can reach out. Regardless if it’s day or night, having someone you trust to lean on is invaluable in these situations. It can make the difference between an episode being a shallow or a very deep hole.

Coping with depressive episodes can be hard. However, by following the aforementioned steps, you can better cope when they do occur. Additionally, talk to a therapist about what type of treatments can help you with your depression. I invite you to contact us for more information on our approach, 256-602-2146.

When Does Stress Become a Problem? – 8 Telltale Symptoms

Everyone must cope with stress to one degree or another in their lives. Perhaps it’s when you are trying to get the kids ready for school while also prepping for your workday. Or you are facing a job loss and the stress that comes from lost income and stability.

But what happens when stress does become a more persistent problem?

This is otherwise known as chronic stress. It’s the kind of stress that is pervasive in your life and just doesn’t seem to go away. If left unaddressed, this chronic stress can cause significant problems that affect your quality of life.

So, how do you know if you’re dealing with occasional stress or if chronic stress has crept into your life?

Here are eight telltale symptoms of chronic stress.

1. Inability to Concentrate or Stay Focused

One reason why stress can become a problem is that it can interfere with focus or concentration. And there are likely many tasks you need to be able to focus on throughout any given day, such as cooking meals, driving, budgeting and other home clerical duties, work, and much more.

But you can’t concentrate when you are stressed. The reason is simple. It’s because your thought process is directed more towards what’s causing the stress (or trigger) than what you are doing in the here-and-now.

2. Fatigue

Another telltale symptom of stress is fatigue. Why? After all, stress is all mental, right? Not true. In fact, one way that stress impacts your entire body is through fatigue.

Stress eats up more energy and is a drain on your body’s resources. The energy you are spending ruminating about what is stressing you out could be put to other uses. However, you can’t do that because the cause of your stress is unresolved. Thus, you feel fatigued and drained of all your energy.

3. Headaches

Headaches can also be caused by stress. Tension headaches, for example, are the result of muscles in your head contracting when you feel stress or tension. Maybe you notice that when you feel tense, you tighten your fists. The same thing happens in your head, resulting in headaches.

Migraines, a more serious form of headaches, often occur because of changes to chemicals in the brain due to exposure to stress.

4. Muscle Tension

As mentioned above, headaches are often caused by muscle tension. This tension is just as likely to occur in other muscle groups in your body. In fact, people are known to “carry” their stress or anxiety with them in certain muscles. For example, someone might have pain in their upper back because that’s where they hold their stress.

5. Sleep Problems and Disturbances

Sleep is very important for health. Yet, stress makes it very difficult to get a good night’s rest. You may have trouble falling asleep, or you keep waking up in the middle of the night. That’s because in order to fall asleep, you need to feel relaxed, even comforted.

However, it’s very hard to get to a state of comfort and relaxation when you are struggling with stress. Your mind is not in “the zone” for falling asleep as you may still be thinking about what is stressing you out. Moreover, consistent lack of sleep not only contributes to your stress but also to symptoms such as difficulty concentrating and fatigue.

6. Changes in Sex Drive

The impact of stress can be so severe that it interferes with your sex drive. The reason why is due to hormone production. Testosterone and estrogen are important for sexual desire. Plus, during sex your body releases endorphins which contribute to you feeling less stressed.

However, when you are always stressed-out, the result is that your body makes cortisol—a stress hormone. If you struggle with stress all the time, then those cortisol levels will begin to interfere with the production of hormones related to your sex drive.

7. Irritability

Have you ever felt a little cranky or irritable? Do you know why? It was because, in the moment, you were thinking of something negative.

Maybe it was when the delivery service messed up your order. Or you realized that you had a project due that slipped your mind. If these instances caused temporary irritability or grumpiness, imagine the irritation chronic stressors can cause in your life.

8. Gastrointestinal Problems

You might be surprised to know that there is a neurophysical connection between your stomach and your brain. Thus, when you experience stress, you might feel it in your stomach. With chronic stress, this could lead to serious gastrointestinal problems such as ulcers or even irritable bowel syndrome (IBS).

If you have been experiencing any or all of the above-mentioned symptoms for an extended time (not just a few days), then it’s time to get help. Not treating chronic stress symptoms will only cause more problems and negatively impacts your health and well-being. The solution is working with a psychotherapist experienced in counseling and stress management. I invite you to contact us to find out more, 256-686-9195.

Author

Joshua Howell, MS, LPC, NCC, AADC, ICAADC, SAP, SAE

Why Comprehensive Psychological Testing for ADHD and Autism Is Crucial

Imagine a young child who is sitting at lunch in school. They prefer to sit away from other students and be by themselves. Social interactions with other children are confusing, stressful, and they would rather be alone.

Or think of the young adult enrolled in college or working. They often find it hard to concentrate and focus their attention. Sometimes, they are really active and alert, but at other times, they’re very bored. And this is especially true if what they are doing isn’t their passion.

What is the common thread between these two scenarios?

It’s that both the child and adult likely have an undiagnosed condition, such as autism or ADHD, and should receive comprehensive psychological testing.

Why is psychological testing so crucial?

Knowing Something Is “Off,” But Not Why

One reason why psychological testing is so important is that it provides the “why.”

It might be that you have observed behaviors in your children (either as children or as an adult) for a while now. Yet, you couldn’t understand why they were occurring. All you knew was that your child was struggling, and that caused you so much pain.

Psychological testing provides the reason for why these things are happening. Knowing that there is an explanation can be profoundly relieving.

Creating Understanding, Not Labels

It makes complete sense that absolutely no one wants to have a label attached to them. After all, just because someone has autism or ADHD, those conditions do not define who they are.

By recognizing the link between behaviors and thought processes to known criteria, you create understanding. You are able to define what exactly is the issue. That’s not labeling. It’s empowering!

Why? Because, finally, your loved one can get the treatment they need to be successful.

Getting Help for Autism and ADHD

You can’t wave a magic wand and cause autism or ADHD to disappear. However, with comprehensive psychological testing, the road is paved for your child can get the help they need.

For example:

  • Life skills coaching (budgeting time, paying attention, etc.)
  • Practicing one-on-one interactions with others
  • Social-cue awareness
  • Therapeutic processing

It’s important to note that testing is not meant to point out someone’s weaknesses. While it does provide an objective perspective of one’s abilities and understanding of certain behaviors, testing is also about identifying one’s strengths.

For example, an adult might struggle with making eye-contact in social situations. However, they are also a whiz when it comes to computers. Or a child has trouble paying attention in school. Yet, they have the focus and drive to excel in sports or are really good at building relationships.

Is Psychological Testing Valid?

Yes! Psychological testing is a valid instrument for a diagnosis of autism and ADHD.

For example, the American Psychological Association conducted a meta-analysis of studies that used either medical testing or psychological testing. The review noted that all tests (whether it be medical or psychological) have differing levels of validity. However, what they found was that there was no difference in validity between medical testing or psychological testing.

How to Obtain Psychological Testing Services

If you are interested in psychological testing for a family member, or perhaps yourself, you need to reach out to a clinician. Diagnostic psychological testing, especially for autism or ADHD, requires a highly trained professional to both administer the test and interpret the results.

However, testing is not a quick-fix solution. Rather, it is a comprehensive battery of exams that can provide both you and the clinician with a nuanced picture of what is going on.

Whether for children or adults, psychological testing can open the doors for getting the right treatment so that they can live a full and rich life. Reach out today to learn more about the psychological testing services we offer, 256-686-9195.

Author

Joshua Howell, MS, LPC, NCC, AADC, ICAADC, SAP, SAE

Online Therapy Platforms and the Matter of Privacy – 3 Things You Should Know

Online therapy platforms have become more popular in recent years, and it makes sense as to why this is happening.

These services offer therapeutic support 24 hours a day, seven days a week. They are convenient for clients because all that is required is a few taps on a smartphone or tablet. And for therapists and counselors, online therapy is another way to expand the scope of their practices and earn income.

However, despite these benefits, there are still some matters that both clients and therapists should keep in mind—especially when it comes to the matter of privacy.

Here are three things that you should know.

1. Do Online Therapy Platforms Comply with the Law?

There are many laws and regulations that govern how therapists do their jobs, whether online or off. One important Federal law is the Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act, or HIPAA.

This law, according to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, is meant to “assure that individuals’ health information is properly protected while allowing the flow of health information needed to provide and promote high-quality health care and to protect the public’s health and well-being.” This includes setting “standards for the electronic exchange, privacy, and security of health information.”

HIPAA is important because it governs how medical professionals, including therapists, use and share information about patients and clients. There may be other applicable state laws and regulations as well. So whether you are a therapist or client, do your research to determine if an online therapy platform has a history of HIPAA violations.

2. What Happens to My Data?

Along with HIPAA compliance, the question of what happens to your data held by the online therapy platform is also important. For instance, you and your therapist primarily message each other back and forth via the platform’s messaging tool. What happens to that information when you close out of the app or when the therapeutic relationship ends?

This question brings to mind issues of information privacy that social medial platforms are also facing, along with their users. When in doubt, research the platform’s website and user agreement carefully. Do your own independent search about this issue to see if other users of the platform had any problems or difficulties.

Also, ask about what the platform does to protect your data from hacking. The last thing you want is for your information to be stolen, especially from a platform in which you are placing a lot of trust.

3. Who Is in Charge?

Finally, consider who is in charge and running the show when it comes to online therapy platforms. Is it a therapist who also happened to be a whiz at technology? Or are they a group of internet geniuses who know how to build a tech startup, but don’t actually have a therapy background? It could be too that those who own and run these businesses are nameless individuals.

Remember, online therapy platforms are first-and-foremost private companies. They are assuming a role as a facilitator between clients and therapists. However, they are also responsible to shareholders, investors, and others who have a stake in the company. Knowing who these people are (as best to your abilities) will help with understanding their motivations and the backstory of the platform.

Online therapy platforms do offer a tremendous opportunity for both clients and therapists to access and provide therapeutic support. However, as with anything that involves the internet, privacy issues should be on your mind. Know your rights, do your homework, and ask questions before connecting with a service. It will help you feel that you are making the best decision for your mental health.

If you would like to find out more about my approach to online therapy, please feel free to contact us, 256-686-9195.

AuthorJoshua Howell, MS, LPC, NCC, AADC, ICAADC, SAP, SAE

Online Therapy: What You Need to Know Before Your First Session

So, you’ve just made your first online therapy appointment? This is a great step towards prioritizing your mental health, even in times when it’s difficult to see a therapist in person.

While that gives you a good feeling, you may also have questions.

Even if you have participated in therapy in the past, how will online therapy work? The answer is that it’s very much the same as when you would go to a therapist’s office. You will still get the support you need to address your mental health concerns. Except now, it’s more convenient than before.

If you are about to engage in online therapy for the first time, here’s what you need to know before your first session.

First and Foremost…Relax!

When getting started with online therapy, it’s helpful to take a deep breath and relax. Online therapy isn’t as complicated as it might appear to be. It does require some basic understanding of computers and navigating a software program. But that doesn’t mean you have to be a technology whiz to access online therapy.

However, if using computers just isn’t in your comfort zone, ask for help. Start with the therapist and ask if they can provide a step-by-step guide for accessing their platform. If you know how to turn on a computer, this will be enough to get you started.

Don’t Forget to Look Ahead at the Screen

This might sound like common sense, but that’s not always the case. When you log into your session for the first time, you will see not just the image of the therapist on the screen, but also your own. Of course, that can be distracting, and your eyes will want to drift down to your image. After all, you want to have an idea of what you look like online!

However, with time, you will get used to seeing that image of yourself and notice it less. Just make sure that you look ahead at the main image on the screen and keep the video camera within eyesight.

Keeping Your Information Confidential

It’s important that your information is confidential and that an online therapy platform maintains the highest standard. Platforms such as VSee are designed to be HIPAA compliant. That means that there are safeguards in place to protect your conversation so that your session is not hacked by an outsider.

Other popular online video streaming services don’t usually meet this higher standard. That’s because they are meant for casual conversations, not the protected dialogue of a private therapy session.

Be Ready for Therapy

Just like with attending a therapy session in real-life, the basics of going to an appointment still apply.

For example:

  • Be a little early for your appointment.
  • Dress appropriately. Just because you are at home doesn’t mean you should be in your pj’s for therapy!
  • Have one or two talking points ready for discussion.
  • Do not eat food during the session. Although, you have a water bottle handy for a quick sip when needed.

Why Online Therapy vs Phone Calls?

You might be thinking why couldn’t you and your therapist have these discussions over the phone? Although phone calls and even text messaging are convenient, they are not the most effective ways of facilitating therapy. Why?

A big part of the counseling experience is seeing one another and reading body language. This is helpful for the therapist when picking up on cues that might be missed in a phone call. Also, you get the benefit of knowing that you are understood. A smile and a nod from your therapist go a long way to feeling comforted and heard.

These are not trivial matters. Rather, they are the little connections that help with forging a therapeutic relationship between the two of you.

Thanks to technology, the therapeutic experience can reach you in the comfort of your own home these days. If you’d like to learn more about online therapy and how it can help you, please reach out to us, 256-686-9195.

Author

Joshua Howell, MS, LPC, NCC, AADC, ICAADC, SAP, SAE

Does Personality Type Play Into Relationship Strength?

There are so many factors that go into a successful relationship.

Of course, there are important attributes such as physical attraction, having common interests, and whether or not you enjoy spending time together. Often, though, the factor that is just as important is whether the relationship is a good match personality-wise.

Have you ever heard a couple described as two people who just “clicked”? This is a way to say that they found a connection. Usually, that happens because their personalities were a good match.

So, consider for a moment how your personality type can play into relationship strength.

Factors That Influence Your Personality

Personality is a complex issue in and of itself, let alone how it influences relationships. Your personality is influenced by lots of factors.

For example:

  • Your upbringing and childhood experiences
  • Interactions with other people, including past relationships
  • Parents and their parenting styles
  • Major life experiences
  • Cultural background
  • Religious or faith traditions
  • Traits inherited from your family

What this means is that your personality isn’t static. It does have the capacity to change over time.

For example, let’s say that you had a lot of negative childhood experiences. These could certainly have an influence on your personality as an adult (negative thinking patterns, etc.). However, with help and support, you were able to overcome them and now have a much more positive outlook on life than you did before.

When Opposites Attract

Have you ever heard the saying “opposites attract?” There are so many examples of people who had different personalities yet found a mutual connection. For instance, a person who is inertly shy may be attracted to someone who is an extrovert.

Think about it for a moment. How many romantic comedies are based on two people who are drawn to one another, yet come from very different worlds? Plenty!

The reason why this occurs could be the novelty that they find in their partner. It’s that “spark” that we all find in someone else that makes them unique, interesting, and attractive.

Taking Advantage of Different Perspectives

The advantage of having different personality types is that they allow couples to approach relationship problems from very different perspectives. This can be a positive thing in that those differences allow these couples to see a problem from varying angles. And that can help each partner recognize blind spots that they may have not seen if they were on their own.

For instance, one partner is more detail-focused, so they are better at paying the bills or doing the taxes. While the other is more empathetic and conscientious of relationships, so they’re better at ensuring the couple stays in touch with other family members, friends, etc.

The Key to Relationship Strength

Of course, there are many couples who were drawn to polar opposites and then saw their relationships fall apart. So how does personality play into relationship strength?

Here are two key factors:

  1. Common Ground – Couples can have differing personalities, but it helps that they both have similarities. A good example is when couples align with personal interests. For instance, both have a love of literature, are passionate about the outdoors, or enjoy going to the gym to work out together. It’s those common experiences done together that cements a relationship.
  2. Communication – Even if on paper a couple was a “perfect” match, their relationship can easily fall apart without effective communication. All couples need to be able to communicate clearly and consistently with each other. Without communication, it’s hard to see the relationship lasting for the long-haul.

Personality certainly plays a role in relationships. People can have very different personalities, yet still have effective partnerships. In fact, those differences can be assets for how they solve relationship conflict, face life challenges, or even have fun. However, what’s important is that these couples, like anyone in a relationship, have some common ground and effective communication.

If you and your partner have differing personalities and are struggling as a couple, contact us to see how couples counseling can help you both, 256-686-9195.

Author

Joshua Howell, MS, LPC, NCC, AADC, ICAADC, SAP, SAE

Dealing with Adult Autism Can Make You Feel Like a Failure—How to Celebrate Who You Are

Life isn’t easy when you have autism. The neurotypical world is really not set up to support your needs. Since routine is very important for you, any disruption can become a serious problem.

Talking to people in social situations isn’t easy either. In fact, it may cause you a lot of stress. As a result, you might prefer to stay by yourself. At the same time, though, you feel isolated, alone, and misunderstood.

Because of these experiences, you may feel like a failure.

But that isn’t true! Having to deal with autism doesn’t make you worthless. The reality is that there are so many amazing things that make up who you are. Embrace them!

Here’s how to celebrate who you are if you are an adult living with autism.

Recognize What You Do Well

Yes, it can be hard navigating a neurotypical world. However, there are so many things that you do well. Everyone has something that they are good at.

For example, for someone with autism, that may include:

  • Creating art
  • Working with computers
  • Performing a physical task (dancing anybody?)
  • Having an infinite amount of knowledge about a specific subject, such as classic cars or music

It’s so easy to focus on what you struggle with. However, don’t forget that there are many other things about yourself that are special and unique. Welcome and nurture them!

Take Pride in Your Accomplishments

This could be hard for you to do because you might not think that what you do is special or worth noting. But that couldn’t be further from the truth.

Think about when you got a job, for instance. That’s a big accomplishment because, like for many autistic adults, it is a major step towards independence and probably required you to face some situation that made you pretty uncomfortable (like interviews!).

Or maybe you were recognized for what you did at work. It might be hard and stressful being singled out by others for your accomplishments, but remember, it’s not supposed to be a punishment. Instead, it’s a good thing to be acknowledged for what you do well. And you can be proud of that!

Step Out of Your Comfort Zone

Taking pride in your accomplishments also includes a willingness to take risks. Of course, you likely have your routine, which helps you plan and get through each day. However, we can’t grow as individuals unless we step outside that comfort zone at times. This is true for everyone, including you.

Of course, what might be “safe” for someone else could be a risk for you. For example, changing your daily routine to go to a social event. Even if it’s with people who you recognize and with whom you’re feeling comfortable, socializing may still be stressful for you. And that’s okay. What’s important is that you are willing to go to the event and take that risk.

Embrace People Who Accept You

It helps to have people in your life who accept you for who you are—family members, coworkers, classmates, and friends. Sometimes we all need a reminder about how amazing, unique, and fun we really are.

When you find those people, stick with them. And don’t listen to those who try to put you down or who are negative and always seem to focus on shortcomings. They aren’t worth the effort being around, and it’s their loss for not recognizing how great you are.

But What If You Still Feel Like a Failure?

Sometimes you may need a little more help to celebrate who you are and to not feel like a failure. After all, autism can be very challenging to live with. And it may take some guidance to learn to cope.

That’s why it helps to know someone who understands what it means to be an adult living with autism. A therapist or counselor is just such a person. They can help you to navigate any particular issues your facing and teach you strategies to cope with things that may cause an upset in your routine.

Admittedly, adult autism does pose many challenges. However, that doesn’t mean you’re a failure. There is plenty to celebrate about what makes you “you.” Following the above-mentioned tips can help. But if you are still struggling, talk to a counselor who specializes in adult autism. I invite you to contact us, 256-686-9195.

Author

Joshua Howell, MS, LPC, NCC, AADC, ICAADC, SAP, SAE

The Elusive Part of Self-Awareness—Self-Destructive Behaviors and Habits

Many things make addiction so hard and terrible. There is the physical deterioration of your body that occurs as you become more addicted to drugs or alcohol. And there is also the price that you pay with your mental health.

You might think that you would notice these problems. However, that is the elusive part of addiction. It robs you of your self-awareness, especially when you do things that are destructive to both yourself and others.

To cope with addiction, you need to bring back that awareness to understand the impact of your addiction.

Here are some self-destructive behaviors and habits to watch out for.

The Desire for Instant Gratification

One self-destructive behavior that comes with addiction is instant gratification. Instant gratification occurs when you experience the high that comes from using drugs or alcohol. The feeling is immediate and euphoric. You are instantly transported away from your problems. Or you feel numb to anything and everything.

People who have experienced a lot of emotional pain welcome this feeling. That’s because, for at least a brief period, they no longer have to deal with that negativity.

However, the problem with instant gratification is that you begin to seek it in other areas of your life as well. Life, though, requires patience and diligence. And that can be hard to cope with if you struggle with addiction.

Hyper-Focusing on One Need

Another self-destructive behavior to be aware of is the need to hyper-focus on fulfilling one desire. In the case of addiction, that would be obtaining substances so that you can continue to experience the high that comes from using them.

The problem with that is everything else falls by the wayside in comparison to your need to get high. And you may end up doing things you never thought you’d do.

For example:

  • Using all of your savings to get substances
  • Selling possessions
  • Stealing or committing fraud
  • Lying to others, especially family or friends

This intense focus on obtaining your drug of choice usually grows over time—often without you being aware of it. It’s usually the reason why so many addicts eventually are willing to sacrifice everything in their lives so that they can obtain and use drugs or alcohol.

The Damage to Relationships

There’s no question that addiction damages relationships. Part of the willingness to sacrifice everything includes their closest relationships.

For instance, if your parents or partner tell you that you need to stop using drugs, your lack of awareness of your problem may cause you to ignore them. Or you push back and tell them that they are wrong or that they don’t know what they are talking about. And this can easily lead to repeated, intense arguments.

Moreover, if those who love you set boundaries with you, you may react negatively. For example, you ask them for money, but they know that you will use the money to buy drugs, so they tell you “no.” Even if they say it in the most polite and diplomatic way, you may very well get angry at them. And you likely believe that they don’t care about you at all and want you to suffer.

Not Knowing Who Your True Friends Are

Oftentimes addicts will not understand that the people who truly care about them are not those who help them to get high. But it’s those who want to support them in getting the professional help they need who are their true friends and loved ones.

Yes, it’s painful when family and friends reject your pleas for resources to get drugs or alcohol. And you may easily take it as a personal rejection. Yet, the reality is that they don’t want to contribute to something they know is damaging you. You just don’t realize it.

The answers to addiction are complicated. It requires a combination of natural support (such as family and friends), structure, learning new coping tools, and therapy. Addiction counseling is a critical part of this solution, to help you become self-aware of your problem and make changes.

If you are struggling with addiction, I invite you to contact us and find out more about how we can help you, 256-686-9195.

Author

Joshua Howell, MS, LPC, NCC, AADC, ICAADC, SAP, SAE

Stress and Anxiety: Definition, Causes, and Management

Would it be great if you could just relax for once?

But every day there seems to be a new problem or situation that comes up. Perhaps you worry all the time about these things, yet, many are not in your control at all—and that’s really stressful!

You want to have the power to make changes, but nothing seems to work at all. And that only adds to the burden of worry and anxiety that you are carrying every day.

Yes, stress and anxiety are two very different problems; they each have their own causes and how they affect you. Yet, they’re also connected. And, with help, they are very manageable.

Stress – the Good and the Bad

Stress is interesting because, given the situation, stress can either be a good or bad thing. When considering the concept of stress some important words come to mind.

For instance, a quick check of the Merriam-Webster dictionary will include words such as:

  • Force
  • Challenge
  • Tension
  • Weight
  • Pressure

On the one hand, these words are not necessarily a bad thing. For example, when you experience stress, it forces you to focus your attention and you feel challenged by what you are doing. This creates change.

A great illustration is someone who lifts weights. Their body feels the tension of the heavy weight, which is difficult. Yet, the muscles need to lift that weight to get stronger. However, too much weight and the muscle will fail.

Now imagine this metaphor for your life and how stress affects it. Are there situations that challenge you to improve and be better? Or does stress overwhelm you and cause you to fail?

Anxiety – the Worries and Fears

Anxiety can also have a good and bad side. For example, if you’re in a dangerous situation, anxiety can alert you to the problem and help you to take action to get out of the way. On the other hand, when you regularly experience anxiety without being in danger, that can be an issue.

With that type of anxiety, the emphasis is on worry and fear. If you have an anxiety disorder, then you struggle with what you think might happen (not what is actually happening). This isn’t a good thing, as anxiety may always cause you to think that something bad is going to occur.

For example, these situations may cause you to feel anxious:

  • Being in tight, confined spaces
  • Getting sick easily and regularly
  • Navigating a crowded theater or arena
  • Flying in an airplane

To cope with the anxiety, you may try to use a soothing ritual (washing your hands, repeating a prayer, etc.). And these things might make you feel better, but not always.

Stress and Anxiety – the Connection

While stress and anxiety are not the same, they do, however, interact. And this interaction is a two-way street.

For example, think about a situation that may cause you stress. Let’s say, a situation has come up that is threatening your job security. Working while not knowing if you’ll be out on the street the next day is stressful. At the same time, that stress can also trigger anxiety because you start to worry about what happens if you get fired, if you can’t pay your mortgage, if you have to live on the street, etc.

Conversely, a situation that causes you anxiety. For example, a threat to your physical health (like the coronavirus pandemic right now). You feel anxious because you’re not sure what will happen, if you’ll become ill, and how severe that illness will be. You may take precautions, even overly so, performing specific actions (like handwashing, etc.) obsessively, but the worry and fear are still there. And that, in turn, causes stress!

Managing Stress and Anxiety

Coincidentally, you can use similar tools for managing both stress and anxiety. For example:

Breathing Exercises

Very important for staying in control, breathing exercises ensures that you are getting enough oxygen to your body and that you don’t hyperventilate. In some cases, when people are very stressed or anxious, they forgot to breathe!

Positive Self-Talk

Oftentimes, stress or anxiety reinforces negative thoughts that you have about yourself. To “flip the script” use positive self-talk that emphasizes your strengths, capabilities, or beliefs.

Aromatherapy

Lavender is a natural scent that also has calming properties. Light a scented candle in your home, apply a drop of lavender essential oil to each of your wrists or massage the back of your neck with it, or take a relaxing bath with lavender-scented bath salts or oils.

Tap Into Your Funny Bone

Humor and laughter are great antidotes to cope with stress and anxiety. Laughter is a physical release for your body, which is relaxing. However, it also is healthy for your mindset. Seeing the humor in a situation is much more empowering than always focusing on the negative.

Professional Help for Stress and Anxiety

If you try the above-mentioned ideas to manage stress and anxiety but are still having problems, ask for professional help. Talk to a therapist about what is making you stressed or anxious. Remember that continued exposure to stress or anxiety can be toxic. This is true for both your body and mind.

I’d be happy to help you ensure that stress or anxiety doesn’t get out of control in your life. Please, feel free to contact us, 256-686-9195.

Author

Joshua Howell, MS, LPC, NCC, AADC, ICAADC, SAP, SAE